Everything I Know About Love

*Read whilst listening to This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)*

I’m having a major Dolly Alderton girl crush, mega fan moment. I’ve just finished her spectacular Everything I Know About Love book and I really think we should be best friends.

I’ve also been listening to her podcast Love Stories. In it she asks her guests to recount their stories of first love, unrequited love, passionate love and everlasting love.

My first love: my mother. Everyday she inspires me. My entire life has been an exercise in trying to impersonate her: everything from the importance of home and family, to dinner parties to big hair. I think my mum has got it right. She is brilliant, beautiful, clever, funny and talented. Happy mothers day!

My unrequited love: Every boy I kissed from the age of 13 until Mr H came into my life. That level of desperation has a potent odour. I’ve basically been ready to commit and fall madly in love since day dot. I’d love to go back and tell my teenage self to calm the hell down.

My passionate love: As Bryony Gordon says in her episode of Dolly’s podcast, the most passionate love should be the love of your partner. And passionate love with Mr H means a lot more than needing to rip each others clothes off. I am passionately in love with the life we build together. Passionately in love with the treat of starting and ending each day together, from chatting over the hairdryer blast about what the day will hold, to lounging on the sofa with tea and Grey’s Anatomy in the evening. The everyday is more passionate and exciting because it is with him.

My everlasting love: In her book, Dolly Alderton’s everlasting loves are mostly her friends, but by the end of the book it’s clear her biggest love story has been the one with herself. Ultimately self love should be everyone’s most epic love story. It’s the love that informs how we can love and be loved by everyone else. And I really do love being me. Like any relationship, I have my ups and my downs. I can fall into the obsession of my foibles, from worrying if I’m a good enough friend to chiding myself for buying a morning coffee (because, really, even if it is £2 it’s still £2 and don’t you know that this cup is non recyclable and basically every time you have a coffee you are contributing to landfill and global warming and ultimately the end of the world??). The only way to stop these slightly conflated worries to remember that I am just one person, doing her best, making mistakes, but that with everything that I am, I am more than enough.

Dolly Alderton: “I am enough. My heart is enough. The stories and the sentences twisting around my mind are enough. I am fizzing and frothing and buzzing and exploding. I’m bubbling over and burning up. My early-morning walks and my late-night baths are enough. My loud laugh at the pub is enough. My piercing whistle, my singing in the shower, my double-jointed toes are enough. I am a just-pulled pint with a good, frothy head on it. I am my own universe; a galaxy; a solar system. I am the warmup act, the main event and the backing singers.”

I am enough- you are enough- we are enough.

That’s the best love story there is.

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